I Caught Teh Fatz!

Dear Fat Acceptance Movement,

I hereby inform you that I am no longer a mere Thin Ally. From now on you can consider me to be, for all intents and purposes, Officially Fat. What does “official” mean, you may ask, since we all know that BMI = bullshit (and I don’t even own a scale)? Well, I went clothes shopping a while ago and discovered that I could suddenly extend my search to include the plus-size department.

There you have it, fat is contageous after all. 😉

Jokes aside, I suspect that either my meds are at fault or it’s the fact that I’ve been feeling good enough to actually eat on a regular basis for a few weeks now. Both are good things and so far the weight gain hasn’t had any negative effects on my life, either, so it doesn’t really bother me. However, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all.

I feel like anything I have to say about food and weight doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t even look all that different than before and yet I suddenly expect people to look at me and think, “Oh, she’s just making excuses.” It is ridiculous. I am reminded of volcanista’s guest post at Shapely Prose:

It makes me angry (at the world, not FJ) that because I’m not one of those fat fat fatties, I can bring some cred to this whole FA thing: look, a skinny girl who cares about fat people!! hey, what was this post about, again? Yeah, I have automatic credibility on the subject of fat prejudice, despite never having experienced it firsthand, while actual fat people are just wrong/deluded/lying. THAT makes sense.

That “automatic credibility” was just taken from me. Awesome. Just because I’m a little bit healthier than before.

Good News and Exasperation

First, the good news: I’ve been officially diagnosed! With the very thing I had already suspected, at that. I’m not happy that I’ll have to live with fibromyalgia for the rest of my life, but it’s great to finally know what’s wrong. Also, I can work on getting better now – which is not to say that I hadn’t already attempted to do that before, but I kept getting worse instead for some reason.

Since my new medication makes me very tired and kills my ability to articulate myself sometimes, I just want to say this one thing:

Sometimes I wish there was a way to make all of humanity permanently thin at once (or at least over the course of no more than a few years), so that we could finally observe whether disease rates would really drop as dramatically as people seem to think these days – or not. My personal guess is that nothing, or nearly nothing would change, and that formerly fat people would still have the same risks as before … but I’m tired of all this guesswork. I … excuse me, articulation. Ahem.

Aaaaargh!

Isn’t it just terribly disappointing if you discover a particularly clever cartoonist on deviantART and spend half an hour happily browsing his gallery, only to happen across a fat joke among all the great works? The artist’s note contained an explanation that almost made me like the guy again, but then he ruined it in a reply to one of the comments. I’m not linking the piece because it’s more than two years old, in case you were wondering – and of course I also don’t want to send any traffic its way.

But it was not just that. Curious as I am, I checked to see if there were any newer comments and if he was still replying to them … which does not seem to be the case, but instead I discovered a very fresh rant from just two days ago, left by another great artist whom I’ve liked for several years, that was bursting with fat hate and all the usual stereotypes.

That’s right, the obesity stupidity epidemic has just ruined my day twice. A similar thing happened to me with a blog post by the author of a book I’m reading, but fortunately it was not quite clear from the context what was going on in his head at the time, so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

And that’s why I’m almost afraid to find out anything personal about writers, musicians and actors that I admire. That’s also part of why I never read interviews, but to be honest I have never been very interested in those anyway.

I’m not offended, I’m disappointed. I don’t want to be the Angry Politically Correct Person who leaves a comment only for the sake of complaining after two whole years. There’s a chance that I might reply to the other artist’s rant, though, since I know I’m not dealing with a troll but it was terribly offensive nonetheless.

Life as an open-minded person is hard sometimes.